Memorial Day

Today is Memorial day..while at church names of member that have passed on were announced. This got me to thinking of all those I love that have also passed on, hopefully to some kind of Heaven. My parents are a loss I feel daily, but I realized that my other losses have colored my life more than I ever really noticed. Slowly from the age of 16 my family have moved on. Now it's basiclly me and Regen that make up our family tree. I loved them all in different ways, and the loss of these people has in some ways made me too independent, too guarded. I have amazing people in my life, but few are really allowed into my heart, the loss of most would not truly damage me, I have closed them off, for fear of their loss. I also thought of the saying " God never gives you more than you can handle". I truly pray that God knows that I could not handle the loss of Regen!! This is my greatest fear; it puts me into a cold sweat and makes my heart race to even write of it. Anyway, I realized that I need to loosen up the guards around my life and let others see more of who I am. Life is more fulfilling when you have others to share it with. At least that's what I've been told.