True friends...

I have recently decided I have very few REAL friends. I have people I work with, people I talk to a few times a month, and even some people from way back when that are still in my life. If some one is in your life for years, or you see them everyday and get along, does that make them your friend? To me a friend is someone you connect with, even if only a once in awhile, someone who is there when you truly need them, and that cares for you and yours. I know that I have people I see everyday, and spend time with, I help them when they need help and am there for when they are down. Now are these same people there for me? When I need help do they help, with out me begging or even asking? Do they contact me just cause? NO. I am the one you come to when you need, need anything. But WHO do I turn to when I just plain need something?? I can count them on one hand. I have been putting so much effort in these "friends" and get nothing in return, not even a true friendship. I am the one who calls, makes plans, asks about them. I am going to stop being the IT girl for help and advice. I am not here for them to use up and leave when they are on a high in life. I guess I will never be a person with a group of friends, a bunch of gal pals to do things with. I know that sounds like self pity, but I just don't understand. I think that I am a good friend, that I am caring, fun to be around, and am loyal. So why is it that I have so few true friends??? I see women who back stab and gossip about each other and they are friends for life. Me, I don't gossip about my friends, I don't back stab, I won't try to steal your man. So I am letting them all go, I am not initiating any contact, not making plans, and not turning my life around to help them.

( KM , knock it off I am not talking about you ;p )