My Letter To "The View"....

After watching your show regarding Massage Therapists, I have been thinking about it non-stop. I have always loved your show and thought the hosts were wonderful examples of strong intelligent women. However after this episode, I now understand this to be untrue. I am a LMP and have been for 14 years; I attend intense schooling, had to pass state boards, and every year have to continue my education to keep my license. I own and operate a spa that employees 9 wonderful women as LPM’s, and none of us are “sex workers” or “Masseuses”. I usually can brush off uninformed and close mindedness and the use of the term masseuse, but on The View, it is unacceptable. While giving a treatment, music is played because it calms the client and silence can be nerve wracking. Also during insurance/rehabilitation massage the time can go over 2 hours, giving a client freer movement, lessening pain, and bettering their life can take time. It is sad that trying to help our clients is seen as improper. The airing of such ideas also spreads the idea that we ARE sex workers and leads to situations that can dangerous for us. In all, it saddens me that The View labeled us as sex workers due to its host’s lack of knowledge. Being slammed by women I looked up to is a sad sad thing, and needless to say The View will not be showing on my TV anytime soon.

This sucks....

Ok this just plain sucks.....I am sick and can't take meds!!! I am very happy to be pregnant but this is driving me nuts. I am not a good sick person, I don't like not being able to work or get my stuff done!! Started feeling down yesterday, hoped and prayed it wasn't going to get worse. Went to bed early (for me), drank tons of wellness tea and woke up even sicker. So today I stayed inside and drank tons of tea again..feeling better but I am thinking that I am going to have to take the next day off. I have plans to have a yard sale this coming weekend, and I sure don't want to put it off!!! Dr apt in the morning with Dr. Kara, for some acupuncture and naturopathic meds...keeping my fingers crossed!!!

Fear.....

I must say a word about fear. It is life's only true opponent. Only fear can defeat life. It is a clever, treacherous adversary, how well I know. It has no decency, respects no law or convention, shows no mercy. It goes for your weakest spot, which it finds with unerring ease. It begins in your mind, always. One moment you are feeling calm, self-possessed, happy. Then fear, disguised in the garb of mild-mannered doubt, slips into your mind like a spy. Doubt meets disbelief and disbelief tries to push it out. But disbelief is a poorly armed foot soldier. Doubt does away with it with little trouble. You become anxious. Reason comes to do battle for you. You are reassured. Reason is fully equipped with the latest weapons technology. But, to your amazement, despite superior tactics and a number of undeniable victories, reason is laid low. You feel yourself weakening, wavering. Your anxiety becomes dread.

Fear next turns fully to your body, which is already aware that something terribly wrong is going on. Already your lungs have flown away like a bird and your guts have slithered away like a snake. Now your tongue drops dead like an opossum, while your jaw begins to gallop on the spot. Your ears go deaf. Your muscles begin to shiver as if they had malaria and your knees to shake as though they were dancing. Your heart strains too hard, while your sphincter relaxes too much. And so with the rest of your body. Every part of you, in the manner most suited to it, falls apart. Only your eyes work well. They always pay proper attention to fear.

Quickly you make rash decisions. You dismiss your last allies: hope and trust. There, you've defeated yourself. Fear, which is but an impression, has triumphed over you.

The matter is difficult to put into words. For fear, real fear, such as shakes you to your foundation, such as you feel when you are brought face to face with your mortal end, nestles in your memory like a gangrene: it seeks to rot everything, even the words with which to speak of it. So you must fight hard to express it. You must fight hard to shine the light of words upon it. Because if you don't, if your fear becomes a wordless darkness that you avoid, perhaps even manage to forget, you open yourself to further attacks of fear because you never truly fought the opponent who defeated you.

~ Unknown

What life gives you...

I have always wanted more kids...at least two in total. But when I was married, my husband never wanted more, he would say " Yes, we'll have another" then belittle and berate me for wanting another. When I was pregnant with Regen he even told me that if I got pregnant again he expected me to have an abortion. So one child it was. After my divorce I thought I will be able to have more kids! But as time passed, I didn't find a new partner so I thought of having another on my own. I looked into adoption, nope to much $$ and no single women. I looked into AI with a fetus, but again too much $$, and I really want a kid of "me" if I am going to carry it. So after the last 5 years I came to terms recently that I would be "Mom" to Regen only. That our family would just be us, it be small but well loved. Then two weeks ago I found out I was pregnant! I am happy in so many ways, I get to have another child, Regen gets to be a big sister, and our family will grow! The dad is not my partner, but a man I have known for years and once loved very deeply. He will be around and be a good dad, so in that I am happy. I do wish though, that I had a partner that I loved and that loved me, so we could be a small but loving family with a man in the mix. I would love for this child to have a dad that was with it's mom, a man to help Regen get over her fears and uneasiness with men. To show both kids that a dad can love his children, protect them, and let them grow into themselves, (not a molded example of what adults want them to be )...that a dad can be just as fierce with love and caring as a mom. But as they say you have to take what life gives you and make the most of it........so here is to wonderfully sweet refreshing lemonade!!!!

Lost in the Daily life.....

It has been forever since I blogged...I let myself get caught up in daily life and not take time for myself. This is one thing I need to do, me time.....Time to blog, to do art, and just things for myself. This might sound selfish, but when I am happy, enjoying my me time I am a better mom, therapist, and friend. I am now going to make a point of giving myself some me time everyday, even if it's only 30 mins.....